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| credits to the owner on Tumblr |
When I planned to write this post, I was
thinking about the changes in my life. I have grew a lot as a person this year
(something I am very proud of) but there is a thought that keeps chasing me “Am
I using my time in the right way?” Last year, when I had to decide what I
wanted to do with my life, this thought was the only thing in my mind.
Eventually I managed to stop thinking about it but my birthday has bring this
thought back.
Oh, first things first. Please don’t get me
wrong, my birthday is, for me, the best day of the year. I love to be the most
important person for a day. Sadly, I am getting older and I feel I am kind of
wasting my life. I know I am an idiot for thinking this, but the truth is I
think this thought will be with me forever. I want to do a lot of things: I
would love to be a singer and an actress and an advertiser and a writer and a
photographer and a public relations and a princess (I don’t even know what I am
saying). The point is, I don’t want to do one thing and inactivity brings me
anxiety (as I have said plenty of times).
I also need to have everything planned and,
sometimes, that is not possible. I love to do lists, it is one of my favourite
things in the world; but life is not one of those things you can have planned
and that is a difficult thing for me, but also an extraordinary one.
I can be complaining right now about what to do, but maybe in a year I have a company, or I have decided what I want to dedicate
my life to, or I continue being this anxious human; nobody knows it. I keep saying myself surprises are not a bad
thing, and eventually I will find some things to make my life awesome (I really
hope so). Despite all that, I am not a quitter (I have never been), I just hate
inactivity.
OMG, this is a long one but I wanted to write
about my thoughts. I am 19. I just have to find the way to make the rest of
this year an amazing one. I don’t even know where I am going to be in a year
from now, let’s try to make this year a great one.
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